29.

Still waiting for my first gray hair
Still holding on to my teddy bear
Still overthinking thoughts in my head
Still finding it hard to get out of bed

Still hanging out late at night
Still choosing flight over fight
Still reminiscing good old days
Still stuck with old fashioned ways

Still bad at meeting deadlines
Still consuming trivial headlines
Still crying over little things
Still working on my dreams

Still waking up insecure
Still finding the cure
Still sky watching
Still star gazing

Nothing’s changed.
Nothing’s changed.

Still here.

* * *

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Penning my thoughts of the season
revisiting memories of the past–
the shadows that clouded my reason,
places where memories of pain seem to last

No matter the number of bridges you burn
there are pages that cannot be unwritten
And as you patiently wait for a good turn
the gloaming words and anxiety heighten

But the twisted tale that ever haunts me
is that of conquering and re-conquering selves
for as I write and edit and edit and write me
this recurring battle ground never ends

* * *

When the light comes flooding back

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If you see yourself at the end of the road
and wondering
where to begin again…
while all around you is darkness;
What would you do
when the light comes flooding back?

The world you are in is one big messy blur
of foggy highways
you’re on your way, but where to?
Just like being trapped in an endless eerie night
stalking the dawn…
But when it comes, would you be prepared
when the light comes flooding back?

And when at last your sleep is nigh
down to nature’s bed
where every weary traveler arrives;
The reaper of the soul, when it knocks,
Would it be a welcome or a bid goodbye?
when the light comes flooding…

Wolf senses

the lone wolf in the pack froze
in the chilling year-round winter

keen is his skin to smell the thorns
dodging scratches, shield worn;
yet swords of tongues lash deep,
touching his holy ground of conceit

you can hear his eyes speak tears,
though dry they were and uncried
and the ears are pricked and alert
for the next sound to watch closely

his nose tastes the warnings bitter
for city guards, paving bloody roads

The seven deadly sins

Envy,
when i look at her and hoped it was me you loved…

Gluttony,
when i channelled my pain to food…

Lust,
when i imagined you and me together…

Pride,
when i was in denial of falling for you…

Greed,
but the truth is, i want you all for myself…

Sloth,
when i wasted lots of hours thinking of you…

Wrath,
when i wanted you to feel my pain…

I’m going to hell for all of the above.